If The Suit Fits (Save The Date)

Picture this.

Your fiancé cheats on you with that skank b*tch Karla from high school in your almost-in-laws’ guest bathroom—the day before your wedding!

Two years later, you’re living your best life, aka: drowning in self-doubt, crippled by the idea of true love, and reeling in toxicity because you refuse to accept a second date, no matter how perfect a guy seems.

Commitment? No thanks.

Tried that. Got the shirt. It’s ugly.

Now your ex is marrying that skank b*tch, and it’s just your (horrible) luck that you’re a bridesmaid.

Sigh.

It doesn’t matter how little dignity you possess these days, there’s no way in hell you’re attending that shit show alone.

So now you need a boyfriend.

Someone who adores you. Someone who looks fantastic in a suit, smiles like the devil himself, and is willing to play along with your ruse.

You need a fake boyfriend.

What’s a nine-page contract, two-thousand dollar deal, and a seven-day house guest between friends?