Retreat Me Not, Mr. Grump

I came here for inner peace. What I found was forced mindfulness, kombucha, and my boss in yoga pants.

Some people get sent to Paris for work.

Me? I got shipped to the woods.

With my grumpy, emotionally unavailable boss.

For a full week. One cabin. One bathroom. Zero Wi-Fi.

It’s technically a “corporate retreat,” but let’s be real—it’s punishment with better scenery.

Cole Bennett is the kind of man who schedules feelings into Q3 and probably thinks yoga is a tax write-off.

He’s infuriating. He’s impossible.

And thanks to this place, we’re also surviving on herbal tea and something called “cashew probiotic pâté.”

There’s no caffeine. No chocolate. No escape.

Just awkward icebreakers, forced mindfulness, and one very uncomfortable twin bed situation.

And when he actually smiles, I start to wonder if inner peace was never the goal.

Maybe surviving Mr. Grump without falling for him is the real retreat challenge.