No Contact: How a Seductive Ideology Broke Families and Friendships and How We Can Repair Them

From the acclaimed author of Awake, Not Woke comes this incisive exposé of the widespread, politically motivated no-contact movement that deconstructs the ideology behind this trend and equips readers to avert estrangement and repair broken relationships.

“Refusing easy villains or easy redemption, this book honors the difficult terrain between injury and reconciliation.”—Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement

A new form of relationship estrangement is afoot. Whereas, in the past, relationships tended to rupture over issues like abuse, today, people are increasingly estranged because of politics. More than sixty-eight million Americans are currently alienated from close family members. Though going no contact is frequently framed as an act of empowerment and self-care, behind the numbers are millions of hurting people—and an ideology that threatens not only relationships but the entire fabric of society.

In No Contact, author Noelle Mering weaves together interviews with historical research to identify five major factors that have given rise to the no-contact identity politics, demythologization of the family, therapeutic culture, infallibility of victimhood, and cultural narcissism alongside spiritual decline. By laying bare the forces behind this destabilizing movement—and how they affect us on personal, familial, and social levels—Mering helps readers see clearly what is happening, confront it, and work with their families to heal, repair, and strengthen relationships.

More than just a critique, this book is a call to action. By bringing light to an experience that is often shrouded in shame or presented far too reductively to a cheering online audience, No Contact empowers readers with a clear-eyed and compassionate perspective that rejects the pernicious ideology undermining our most intimate and necessary relationships. The stakes are high. If we cannot hold fast to one another in the face of disagreement, we risk losing not only our most intimate bonds but also the foundation of a free and humane society.