Barking Orders: A Dog’s Diary of Chaos, Loyalty, and Squirrel Surveillance

Humans think they’re in charge.

Adorable, really.

Roxy is a Black Heeler. A working breed. A professional. A creature designed to maintain order while the people in her house wander around inventing hobbies, losing socks, and acting shocked when the mailman shows up again.

Barking Orders is Roxy’s official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where every day includes at least one of the

an attempted squirrel invasion

a vacuum monster with cable entanglement disorder

a “quick pee” that turns into a full perimeter sweep

a mysterious disappearance of food that was clearly left unattended on purpose

a human who thinks a “fake throw” is funny

Told in short, sharp chapters, this book is a hilarious, sensory, nose-first look at domestic life through the eyes of a dog who takes security, snacks, and supervision very seriously.

You’ll

the human Roxy chose to adopt (and train)

the wife, who believes in rules until the dog breaks them

Cooper (a colleague, sometimes)

and the many enemies of the household, including weather, delivery drivers, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas

If you’ve ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or followed to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the

You don’t own a cattle dog.

You work for one.

Barking Orders is for dog people who like their humor dry, their chapters quick, and their “aww” moments earned, not forced.